Professor's Cozy Cottage of Surprises

I am sitting with ‘how to feel’ about this day…. this timeline. In a different timeline, I can imagine (almost) what it might be like. The juxtaposition here is too great at the moment.

I am conflicted. This is a big milestone… but how do some celebrate when others are living a nightmare? How does one eat party foods when others are trying to eat “food” with maggots, or are on hunger strikes for their freedom?

So – I finally return to my computer, to my site here. I wear a cheerful yellow sundress and look upon a truly gorgeous day outside. I don’t feel cheerful, but I can be grateful for what I have. Even while knowing the sense of ‘stability’ is long gone, in this moment Right Now, I am okay. I have food, relative safety, clothes, freedom to go where I please.

Doing nothing “traditional” (think grilling burgers or hot dogs, having potato salad, cold drinks), I did get some “splurge-worthy” noms. Instead of lighting fireworks, I will light candles for those in the nightmare. Also, I will be donning earplugs and noise-cancelling headphones for the M 80s people insist on firing, having a glass of wine to ease my heightened sense of panic from the building-shaking booms, and possibly have natural calming aides.

My ancestors, like so many, came here to escape persecution. They fought against the Crown when threatened. They were here for the signing of Independence. I know they are shaking their heads right now, looking down upon us. May we make them proud once again, soon.